FF button please | »

lately, i feel like i’m in a standstill. after the whirlwind experience of saying goodbye to my teaching post in Explo and trying out new things as The Boyfriend’s assistant in his new business, things have normalized into a quiet hum. not complaining, just saying.

maybe it’s just my ADHD kicking in, but somehow i’m bracing myself for a loop. or a drop. i’ve always considered life as a roller coaster (scary like shit but ultimately regulated so really, there’s nothing to be scared of) and i ride roller coasters with eyes closed. i also prefer dark, indoor roller coasters like Disneyland’s Space Mountain or Universal’s The Mummy… i don’t have to see the twists and turns, i KNOW it’s a freakin’ ride. i just go for it, squeeze my eyes shut the whole time, and grit my teeth while saying “may dadating na drop, may dadating na drop, may dadating na drooooooooooop.” in the end, i know i’ll survive the ride unscathed, and i can say that i didn’t chicken out. 

so about this lull. it’s not even a boring lull, The Boyfriend and i have been really busy with different photography/videography projects and i’m learning every step of the way. (heck, i even have Lightroom and Photoshop in my laptop now. who knew the day would come?) i’m also a freelance writer now, something that i’ve been trying to be but didn’t have the time/guts for before. i’m reviewing for the Sept25 LET; i’m preparing for a play (note that i didn’t say “rehearsing”, i’ve missed the last 3 because of work, lagot!); i’m tutoring kids (a grade 2 girl and grade 5 boy) and a big kid (a Brit med student who wants to learn Filipino). but i guess, since i know that i’m really wired to be a teacher, i’m itching to be part of a class again. (i’ve blogged about this a few weeks back.) i can’t wait to find out where God intends for me to teach next. i wish i can just hit fast forward and look into the future; the anxiety is unsettling.

pray with me. hope i’ve got covered, it’s even in my name. i need help with faith. where’s my feisty faith button? 

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY